5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
