also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
