That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize
