wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
