Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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