All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
