I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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