At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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