Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
