Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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