it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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