Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
