hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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