Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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