Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
