Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My vagina is officially offended.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
