she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just blew my weed a kiss
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
