love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
