Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
