Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
