physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
