You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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