The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
