I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
