I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
