Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
