this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i came on her dog
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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