HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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