I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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