I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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