am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
