i just had sex bonerless
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
All I want is dick and wine.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
