Well douche your snatch and let's go!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
