Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
