my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
