we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
