Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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