I'm passing your future prison.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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