I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
