You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
