WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
