Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
