headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
