ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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