Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
