Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
