If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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