And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I think i got beer on your cat.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
