it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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