Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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