no, he came in my armpit
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
