Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
