I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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